Humane EDUCATION: When an Animal Dies - What Parents and Educators
Can do to Help Children Through the Grieving Process

I’ll Always Love You, Helping Kids With the Loss of a Companion, The Scoop Spring 2002

It has been more than two years since our cat Dave died. My children Natalie and Max never knew life before Dave; life after Dave is filled with an abundance of Davisms and stories. Recently Max and I were laughing remembering how, unlike the other cats in our house, Dave used to sit and stare at himself in front of the mirror. He would admire himself, with good reason, for hours! When we take another cat to the veterinarian Max always comments on how Dave would just walk out of the carrier and go back in when the exam was over. The void that Dave left has affected everyone in our household. Natalie has tried to take up for Dave. Fiona, Dave’s best buddy still pines for him. She’s tried to make friends with the two new guys who joined the family, Micky Dean and Merl, but they would rather pummel her than cuddle. Fiona needs a buddy, so after months of trying to cozy up to the new boys she has chosen Natalie – they read together every night. Natalie comments on how much Fiona misses Dave – they both do.

Shortly after Dave died, I wrote the article I’ll Always Love You, Helping Kids With the Loss of a Companion, which ran in The Scoop Spring 2002. I’ve been told that the information that I shared helped other parents and educators deal with grieving children. The passage of time helps to ease the pain – it becomes easier to smile when remembering anecdotes or looking at old photos. We don’t read the books highlighted in the article any more, they are gathering dust on the shelves. I’ve added a couple more to that particular collection. I like Jasper’s Day and A Dog Like Jack for what they are, excellent books that help children deal with the loss of a beloved animal. Right now, however as 3-year-old, wild Merl whomps on the former couch potato Micky Dean our reading selections include Dav Pilkey’s When Cat Dreams or Bob Graham’s “Let’s Get a Pup!” said Kate (see companion animal stories LINK).

Disalvo-Ryan, Dyanne, A Dog Like Jack,1999, Holiday House, Inc. – A family with a young boy adopts Jack, an older dog from the animal shelter. The young boy tells the story of his relationship with Jack, as they grow up together – trick-or-treating at Halloween, Saturday games of hide-and-see in the park and sharing an ice cream cone with Jack getting the last lick. When Jack reaches old age (91 in dog years) and eventually dies, his boy has to deal with the heart-breaking loss, and decides that although he may love another dog someday, there will never be another dog like Jack. A sensitive book that will give comfort to other grieving children, A Dog Like Jack is a book about healing.

Blain Parker, Marjorie and Janet Wilson, Jasper’s Day, 2002, Kids Can Press, Limited –– A family deals with Jasper’’s impending death by taking a day to celebrate his life and all of the joy he has brought to them. The cancer is affecting Jasper and Riley and his family must make a decision. Riley, the boy who has never known life without Jasper, understands that his buddy’’s illness has affected his sight, hearing, and freedom of movement. He is sad, but agrees with his parents that the Jasper is in pain and should not suffer. On Jasper's Day, the family takes him to several places they have enjoyed together – a stream, the ice-cream store, and Grandma's house. Riley's dad drives Jasper to the veterinarian. Riley understands that the veterinarian will give Jasper "a shot. It will be quick and gentle. For Jasper, it will be just like going to sleep. He won’t be asleep though. Jasper will be dead." Wrapped in his special blanket, Jasper is buried in the backyard. The book closes with a two page collage of photos that Riley is making as a tribute to his beloved friend. Euthanasia is a difficult subject to approach. Jasper’s Day is a thoughtful book that could provide comfort to children who have experienced the loss of an animal companion.